Friday, March 25, 2005
Porn
Why are you on the internet right now? If you're a male aged 10 to 50*, I think I have a pretty good idea. We live in a sex-obsessed culture, and the majority of the internet is devoted to its trappings. Admit it: you probably only found this rant because of the title, and probably you're already furiously punching your browser's "back" button because it's become apparent that there is not a single naked female to be found here. *Males over 50 enjoy porn too, but are too computer-inept to find it online.
Why does everyone enjoy looking at porn so much? There's one simple answer: Every single one of you cyber-assholes is too much of a pathetic loser to ever get any real sex, so instead you glue your nose to whatever two-dimensional slut you can find, and are perfectly willing to fork over cash for the dubious privilege. Unfortunately, enough of you lowlife scum actually manage to have children that you aren't dying out like you should be, and the population of porn addicts actually seems to be increasing.
If you have to ask why looking at porn makes you a dumbshit, you're even more of a dumbshit than I thought. What enlightenment, happiness, or lasting satisfaction can you possibly derive from ogling high-res photos of some poor girl who wasted her life? Porn is about exploitation. Satisfying you drooling bastards is not a career. It's not fulfilling or satisfying. It's humiliating and degrading, and your daily $2.95 is financing this exploitation. Girls with poor prospects all over the world are denied a chance at a real career because of you. If you listened to your brain instead of your penis, you might have arrived at this obvious realization yourself. Maybe. Probably you're such a dumbass that thinking with your penis is more effective than using your brain anyway.
Prostitution is illegal in most of the United States. Cyberprostitution, which essentially is what porn is, is not. The First Amendment says you can put pretty much whatever you want on the internet, but if no one looked at porn, there wouldn't be so damn much of it. Not only are you bastards funding sexploitation, but you're also contributing to the trashiness of the internet by creating a market for porn sites. The entire porn "industry" would collapse overnight without an audience of breathless losers to generate profits.
I'm sure none of you hopeless dumbshits are still reading at this point because it hurts too much to hear the truth, but if you are, think about what you're reading if thinking is within the capacity of your feeble gray matter. If you feel motivated and want to become less of a pathetic moron, you could turn off your computer right now, go to a bar, and meet some women. If you're still committed to your dumbshit ways, I'll stop wasting your time so you can get back to the important things in life.
Why does everyone enjoy looking at porn so much? There's one simple answer: Every single one of you cyber-assholes is too much of a pathetic loser to ever get any real sex, so instead you glue your nose to whatever two-dimensional slut you can find, and are perfectly willing to fork over cash for the dubious privilege. Unfortunately, enough of you lowlife scum actually manage to have children that you aren't dying out like you should be, and the population of porn addicts actually seems to be increasing.
If you have to ask why looking at porn makes you a dumbshit, you're even more of a dumbshit than I thought. What enlightenment, happiness, or lasting satisfaction can you possibly derive from ogling high-res photos of some poor girl who wasted her life? Porn is about exploitation. Satisfying you drooling bastards is not a career. It's not fulfilling or satisfying. It's humiliating and degrading, and your daily $2.95 is financing this exploitation. Girls with poor prospects all over the world are denied a chance at a real career because of you. If you listened to your brain instead of your penis, you might have arrived at this obvious realization yourself. Maybe. Probably you're such a dumbass that thinking with your penis is more effective than using your brain anyway.
Prostitution is illegal in most of the United States. Cyberprostitution, which essentially is what porn is, is not. The First Amendment says you can put pretty much whatever you want on the internet, but if no one looked at porn, there wouldn't be so damn much of it. Not only are you bastards funding sexploitation, but you're also contributing to the trashiness of the internet by creating a market for porn sites. The entire porn "industry" would collapse overnight without an audience of breathless losers to generate profits.
I'm sure none of you hopeless dumbshits are still reading at this point because it hurts too much to hear the truth, but if you are, think about what you're reading if thinking is within the capacity of your feeble gray matter. If you feel motivated and want to become less of a pathetic moron, you could turn off your computer right now, go to a bar, and meet some women. If you're still committed to your dumbshit ways, I'll stop wasting your time so you can get back to the important things in life.
# posted by Ben @ 8:09 PM 
