Sunday, May 08, 2005
Diamonds
Well, the time has come for yet another fabricated holiday, this time intended to "honor" mothers by showering them with flowers, cards, breakfast, or diamond jewelry. The real point of the so-called "holiday," however, has nothing to do with mothers. Mother's Day is about selling crap- diamonds, flowers, greeting cards. But especially diamonds, which brings me to today's rant topic.
The most puzzling thing about the diamond industry is why anyone would shell out big bucks for a fucking rock. Not only that, but an undeniably tacky rock most often found attached to undeniably tacky pieces of jewelry. Not only that, but an essentially worthless rock whose price was jacked up several decimal places before it found its way to you, the hapless buyer.
For you see, Mr. Stupid-Ass Diamond Buyer Guy, diamonds have little intrinsic value. The diamonds you see at the jewelry store are so damn expensive for one reason and one reason only: the De Beers Group decreed it should be so. And the only reason they decreed it to be so was to maximize their profits. De Beers belongs near the top of any list of the most evil corporations, and it is probably true that no other company has ever made so much money from selling an essentially worthless product. The only intrinsic value diamonds possess is their usefulness in drillbits and other sharp things, and it's stupid to waste money pulling them out of the ground for this when there are much cheaper synthetic diamonds that work just as well.
Why would you buy something as worthless as a diamond for the kind of sum that diamonds command? Simple. It's because you're the kind of spineless numbfuck who's impressed by high prices rather than actual value. If the De Beers Group decided that you were going to spend your money on rusty paperclips instead of diamonds for Mother's Day, you would. Try thinking for yourself, dumbass, if you can do it without straining your feeble quota of gray matter.
It might be understandable for people to pay a lot for worthless rocks if they were at least extraordinarily beautiful or something like that, but diamonds don't even come close to being beautiful. At best, they're tacky, and at worst, they reach a level of tackiness high enough to make the beholder sick with disgust (or envy, depending on whether the beholder has a brain).
So basically, all of you morons who went out today (or in the preceding days) to buy diamond jewelry for mom were part of a vast conspiracy that resulted, as these holiday conspiracies always do, in you being exploited. You're nothing but a pawn of the De Beers Group and your friendly neighborhood jeweler, both of whom were only too happy to hand over your share of worthless diamonds in exchange for all the money they can squeeze out of you.
Then again, your participation shows that you've been able to see past the superficialities of Mother's Day to the real spirit of the holiday. After all, Mother's Day isn't about celebrating motherhood, it's about selling diamonds. So you should feel proud of yourself for buying some worthless shit for your mother instead of actually caring about her or something. That's what Mother's Day is all about, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.
The most puzzling thing about the diamond industry is why anyone would shell out big bucks for a fucking rock. Not only that, but an undeniably tacky rock most often found attached to undeniably tacky pieces of jewelry. Not only that, but an essentially worthless rock whose price was jacked up several decimal places before it found its way to you, the hapless buyer.
For you see, Mr. Stupid-Ass Diamond Buyer Guy, diamonds have little intrinsic value. The diamonds you see at the jewelry store are so damn expensive for one reason and one reason only: the De Beers Group decreed it should be so. And the only reason they decreed it to be so was to maximize their profits. De Beers belongs near the top of any list of the most evil corporations, and it is probably true that no other company has ever made so much money from selling an essentially worthless product. The only intrinsic value diamonds possess is their usefulness in drillbits and other sharp things, and it's stupid to waste money pulling them out of the ground for this when there are much cheaper synthetic diamonds that work just as well.
Why would you buy something as worthless as a diamond for the kind of sum that diamonds command? Simple. It's because you're the kind of spineless numbfuck who's impressed by high prices rather than actual value. If the De Beers Group decided that you were going to spend your money on rusty paperclips instead of diamonds for Mother's Day, you would. Try thinking for yourself, dumbass, if you can do it without straining your feeble quota of gray matter.
It might be understandable for people to pay a lot for worthless rocks if they were at least extraordinarily beautiful or something like that, but diamonds don't even come close to being beautiful. At best, they're tacky, and at worst, they reach a level of tackiness high enough to make the beholder sick with disgust (or envy, depending on whether the beholder has a brain).
So basically, all of you morons who went out today (or in the preceding days) to buy diamond jewelry for mom were part of a vast conspiracy that resulted, as these holiday conspiracies always do, in you being exploited. You're nothing but a pawn of the De Beers Group and your friendly neighborhood jeweler, both of whom were only too happy to hand over your share of worthless diamonds in exchange for all the money they can squeeze out of you.
Then again, your participation shows that you've been able to see past the superficialities of Mother's Day to the real spirit of the holiday. After all, Mother's Day isn't about celebrating motherhood, it's about selling diamonds. So you should feel proud of yourself for buying some worthless shit for your mother instead of actually caring about her or something. That's what Mother's Day is all about, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.
# posted by Ben @ 8:31 PM 
