Thursday, June 02, 2005
Honda Ridgeline
Sorry to write another car rant so soon after the Saturn one, but when the June issue of Consumer Reports arrived yesterday with a profile view of the new Honda Ridgeline pickup on the cover, I couldn't help myself. The new Ridgeline is by far the ugliest truck I've ever seen in my life. For that matter, it's probably the ugliest motor vehicle of any kind, ever. There's no angle you can look at it from that makes it look even remotely non-vomit-inducing. Everyone knows Honda makes the best cars, but do they really have to make anyone who looks at them physically ill?It wasn't always this bad. In fact, pretty much all Hondas were good-looking until the hybrid Insight came out in 1999. That was ugly, but clearly Honda saw that it wasn't living up to its full ugliness potential because it proceeded to come out with the Element in 2003, which was unquestionably the ugliest wheeled vehicle ever to come out of Japan. Until now.
Pickup trucks are pretty much a tried-and-true design. Today's pickup trucks are not much different from those built in the 1940s or even the 1920s, and most of them looked like normal, everyday pickup trucks. Ugly trucks are a very recent development and until now were limited to General Motors products— the SSR, Avalanche, EXT, and H2 SUT. Clearly someone at Honda thought now was a good time to jump on the ugly truck bandwagon themselves, and they did so with a vengeance.Words cannot do the Honda Ridgeline justice. This truck is an embarrassment to the human race. Not only is it rectangular, plastic, covered in superfluous body molding, and eerily symmetrical back to front, but the grotesquely oversized bed couldn't possibly be made any more horrific. The Ridgeline looks like Honda told a team of talented designers to design the ugliest vehicle the world has ever known, and gave them a photo of the Chevy Avalanche to start from. I can't even look at it without starting to feel queasy.
What happened to you, Honda? You used to make awesome cars like the S2000, NSX, and the 2001 Accord. If you continue down the path you're on, Honda will just become another forgotten and unlamented name like AMC, Geo, or Plymouth. The thing is, no one in their right mind is going to buy a truck as ugly as the Ridgeline, no matter how superior it is to other trucks in all other respects. And I doubt there are enough people who are not in their right mind to keep you from going under for very long.
# posted by Ben @ 9:18 AM 
