Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Bottled Water
Let's play the bottled water game. It works like this: I fill a uniquely-shaped bottle with tap water, slap an attractive label on it, give it a catchy name, and sell it to you for $4.50. Sound fun?
If it does, you're a moron, but unfortunately you're also the average American consumer. It's amazing how well the bottled water companies have brainwashed you. They have you convinced that your tap water is full of dangerous contaminants, that you're putting yourself at risk for innumerable afflictions by drinking it. You don't even know what contamination is unless you've been someplace like Bangladesh, where arsenic levels are on the order of a national emergency. Tap water is safe to drink anywhere in the US, but you're still lining up to buy bottled water that cost roughly 1000 times more.
This is a typically American phenomenon, and it's disgusting. The United States is one of the only countries on earth where everyone has access to safe drinking water, but instead of feeling grateful, we complain about shit like taste and impurities. Most of the people on the planet would kill to have access to our water supply, but for us superior Americans it's just not good enough. Instead of being happy with what we have, we import water all the way from fucking Fiji, at ridiculous prices, in search of the best "flavor, mouth feel, aftertaste and appearance" (taken from the Fiji Water website). People in the third world are dying from drinking contaminated water, and we're worried about mouth feel?
Bottled water is a scam anyway. Why do people buy it? Perhaps you're worried about impurities. Most bottled water is just filtered tap water, which you can make yourself for a fraction of the cost. But if you're really so scared of impurities that you can't drink unfiltered water, you'd better not eat anything either, or breathe, because ours is a world chock full of impurities. Have you ever seen the amount of rodent parts allowable by the FDA in grain products?
The people who prefer one brand of bottled water over another leave me shaking my head. People claim Fiji Water tastes really good. It tastes just like any other bottled water, whether it comes from the clear island springs of Fiji or a faucet in Flint, Michigan. It does, however, offer a lovely square bottle with a nice picture of Fiji on it, an this is the real reason people buy it. Probably 90% of bottled water purchases are based on bottle shape alone. After all, apart from the bottle it's all just dihydrogen monoxide. I could fill Fiji Water bottles with hog piss and people would still say it tasted good.
Some people think bottled water tastes better than tap water, which may be true depending on where you live, though most bottled water comes from the municipal water supply anyway. But even if it doesn't taste that great, your tap water is still perfectly drinkable. If you actually drank it, you wouldn't notice the taste after a while no matter how bad it was. Some people think bottled water is more convenient to carry with you, which is true. But a bottle you filled yourself is just as easy to carry as a bottle of expensive Fiji Water.
The bottled water industry survives by brainwashing you. If everyone realized what a waste of money bottled water really is, the industry would collapse overnight. If everyone sent the money they currently spend on bottled water to Bangladesh instead, the people there might be able to have clean drinking water for the first time in their lives, and you wouldn't be any worse off. Escape from the bottlers' exploitation! Stop drinking bottled water!
If it does, you're a moron, but unfortunately you're also the average American consumer. It's amazing how well the bottled water companies have brainwashed you. They have you convinced that your tap water is full of dangerous contaminants, that you're putting yourself at risk for innumerable afflictions by drinking it. You don't even know what contamination is unless you've been someplace like Bangladesh, where arsenic levels are on the order of a national emergency. Tap water is safe to drink anywhere in the US, but you're still lining up to buy bottled water that cost roughly 1000 times more.
This is a typically American phenomenon, and it's disgusting. The United States is one of the only countries on earth where everyone has access to safe drinking water, but instead of feeling grateful, we complain about shit like taste and impurities. Most of the people on the planet would kill to have access to our water supply, but for us superior Americans it's just not good enough. Instead of being happy with what we have, we import water all the way from fucking Fiji, at ridiculous prices, in search of the best "flavor, mouth feel, aftertaste and appearance" (taken from the Fiji Water website). People in the third world are dying from drinking contaminated water, and we're worried about mouth feel?
Bottled water is a scam anyway. Why do people buy it? Perhaps you're worried about impurities. Most bottled water is just filtered tap water, which you can make yourself for a fraction of the cost. But if you're really so scared of impurities that you can't drink unfiltered water, you'd better not eat anything either, or breathe, because ours is a world chock full of impurities. Have you ever seen the amount of rodent parts allowable by the FDA in grain products?
The people who prefer one brand of bottled water over another leave me shaking my head. People claim Fiji Water tastes really good. It tastes just like any other bottled water, whether it comes from the clear island springs of Fiji or a faucet in Flint, Michigan. It does, however, offer a lovely square bottle with a nice picture of Fiji on it, an this is the real reason people buy it. Probably 90% of bottled water purchases are based on bottle shape alone. After all, apart from the bottle it's all just dihydrogen monoxide. I could fill Fiji Water bottles with hog piss and people would still say it tasted good.
Some people think bottled water tastes better than tap water, which may be true depending on where you live, though most bottled water comes from the municipal water supply anyway. But even if it doesn't taste that great, your tap water is still perfectly drinkable. If you actually drank it, you wouldn't notice the taste after a while no matter how bad it was. Some people think bottled water is more convenient to carry with you, which is true. But a bottle you filled yourself is just as easy to carry as a bottle of expensive Fiji Water.
The bottled water industry survives by brainwashing you. If everyone realized what a waste of money bottled water really is, the industry would collapse overnight. If everyone sent the money they currently spend on bottled water to Bangladesh instead, the people there might be able to have clean drinking water for the first time in their lives, and you wouldn't be any worse off. Escape from the bottlers' exploitation! Stop drinking bottled water!
# posted by Ben @ 7:09 AM 
